Articles
The Choice Is Ours
How can one put into words the jubilation when someone makes the decision to follow Christ? The immense joy that is felt, not only for that individual, but also for the one who administers baptism. Even heaven rejoices when a lost soul is converted (cf. Luke 15:7, 10). Truly, conversion is wonderful; however, there are times when people will choose to leave. It is no doubt a shock to the brethren to learn when someone has fallen away. God’s word makes us aware that this can and will happen.
“For in the case of those who have once been enlightened and have tasted of the heavenly gift and have been made partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, it is impossible to renew them again to repentance, since they again crucify to themselves the Son of God and put Him to open shame” (Hebrews 6:4ff).
“For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world by the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and are overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would be better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn away from the holy commandment handed on to them. It has happened to them according to the true proverb, 'A dog returns to its own vomit,' and, 'A sow, after washing, returns to wallowing in the mire' (2 Peter 2:20ff).
The purpose of this article will be to look at some reasons why individuals leave the fold of God and return to the world of sin, and also what the responsibility of the brethren is toward such lost souls.
Not too long ago, someone decided to leave our own congregation. An obvious question to ask in such a case would be: “Why would anyone choose condemnation over salvation?” That is definitely a head-scratcher! It makes no sense, but when an individual makes the conscious decision to leave the Lord’s body, that is ultimately what they are doing. God has given each person free-will to make their own choices, and unfortunately, many leave His protection and fall again into the destructive hands of Satan. The Apostle Paul wrote, “But the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons”(1 Timothy 4:1). Scripture has plainly stated that a problem exists and the church is seeing it grow exponentially.
Over the past several decades, a steady decline has occurred for those that attend religious services in the United States. People who call themselves “Christian” are getting fewer as a Gallup study shows.1 In the last twenty years, there has been almost a one-fifth decrease of adults who claim to have a church membership. Even though this study does not focus on doctrine, it is significant to see that fewer people are drawn to Christianity. This is just one study of many that can prove the power that the world can have over people. Scripture warns believers not to fall into this trap (cf. 1 John 2:15ff). Furthermore, even from this one study, one can see that the devil is very much at work and is very effective (cf. 2 Corinthians 4:4).
Having acknowledged that religious service attendance has fallen across the board, it behooves one to ascertain why this is. The available research reveals the following reasons for this phenomenon: 1) Not finding a community; 2) Not resolving conflict; 3) Controlling leaders and unskilled teachers2; 4) Experiencing burn out; 5) Making life changes3; 6) Speaking in a manner like a foreign language; 7) Choosing the wrong battles to fight4; 8) Getting out of the habit of attending; 9) Not finding a church to meet their needs; 10) Having a need and feeling the church didn’t meet it.5 Though these “reasons” are cited, there is never a sufficient cause to turn one’s back on the Creator! Problems will arise, whether from within oneself or between oneself and others. Granted, there are going to be disagreements even among brethren, but every opportunity needs to be taken to resolve conflict (cf. Matthew 5:24; 18:15ff). Sometimes a whole congregation can be in error, and if that specific group is unwilling to make the necessary changes, then it is necessary to leave to find a faithful body of believers. Let’s briefly look further in depth at the various reasons that were stated as to why individuals leave the church.
Relationships are key. Establishing those healthy intimate Christian relationships keeps people part of the group. Without them, it is easy to understand why people become discouraged and leave. Building on the importance of relationships, is having the ability to resolve conflict between one another. It is detrimental to avoid not addressing problems. If members of the body fail to be the peacemakers that Christ would have them be, then it is to be expected to see people making an exodus.
Another problem that people struggle with is feeling that they are being controlled by individuals who have a need to have power over others. This can be real or perceived and ends up causing friction that leads to dissolution. Failures in the leadership coincide with poor teaching skills. Individuals who preach and teach may drive people out of the group because their methods and messages do not connect. Other issues people run into is that they become too involved and focused on maintaining busyness and eventually disconnect themselves. Some leave because they have something occur in their lives that church seems not to be a priority or a possibility. People get a divorce or are remarried, which causes potential withdrawal, if it is unscriptural. Others simply move away and never seek out a new church home. At times people can get so frustrated by the church being too inactive in areas that they feel Christians should take a stand. Currently, social justice is an area that some feel the church should be more involved in and when there is a lack of action, then people may head for the doors.
It is so sad that some simply lack the discipline to attend services. Individuals form the habit of not going. One week is missed and then two, and then before you know it, those people never come back. Another unfortunate reason people depart is because a specific group will not cater to their personal desires. Likewise, there are times that churches are simply unable to meet a particular need in the manner the individual desired. A church did what they could, but it did not meet up to their expectations. We’ve only addressed a small number while there are plenty more reasons people give for leaving the church. Now let’s take some time to look at some individual accounts of why some have left the church.
The first account involves a man, born into a Catholic family, who at the age of 24 joined the church of Christ along with his wife. He went on to attend Florida College and eventually became a preacher for 30 years. Here was an educated man and even a preacher! Surely, one who spoke from the pulpit would never choose to leave? Sadly, anyone can have the potential to fall away, as the Apostle Paul understood that possibility (cf. 1 Corinthians 9:27). Here is a small excerpt from this fallen brother’s testimony:
"God never established a literal organization, a functional entity, called 'the church'! Jesus never died to save 'the church.' Jesus died that 'whosoever believeth on Him should not perish, but have everlasting life' (Jn. 3:16). Jesus died to save individuals, not a “church”! In apostolic times, when a person gave in to the persuasion of the gospel, he/she was considered 'saved.' Christians were never instructed to form, organize, or in any way create a corporate body to function as a 'local church.' When a person became a Christian, he/she had a direct relationship to God through His Son Jesus Christ. Men have obscured that relationship by imposing the necessity of 'church membership' for salvation. When I fully realized this, I was closer to leaving this man-made organization called, 'The Church of Christ.'”6
Even looking at this small section, there is an issue that one must take with the reasoning given by this man. Christ did die for the church as indicated in Ephesians 5:25-27, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.” This individual goes on to detail a number of his personal reasons for leaving, such as: 1) The church of Christ is a denomination; 2) Issues with the leadership; 3) Strife and division; and 4) Ritualism. He concluded his “treatise,” as he referred to his article, indicating that there were many other reasons why he decided to leave the church, but did not include them. Having personally taken the time to read this individual’s article, it would appear that he may have never even attended a group that adhered to sound doctrine! It would benefit everyone to take time to read this man’s story because members of Christ’s body need to be able to address such matters. Each person needs to be able to search the Scripture and be able to explain why they do what they do. Proper knowledge of the fundamental tenets of the church will serve both a preventative and corrective function for Christians who ponder apostasy.
Another example is of an individual who does not provide any of their demographics. They did indicate that they had attended or been part of the churches of Christ for 20 years. This person also had family members who were elders, deacons, preachers, and board members of universities claiming connection to churches of Christ. Here is a small portion of their letter:
"The church of Christ makes people who don't fit an incredibly small stereotype (church lineage, in the box, traditional, structured beliefs, absolute merit-worthy performance of all doctrine, with heavy damnation speeches but little talk of grace and protection, feel outcasted and immensely judged.7"
Like the previous example, this person sees the Church of Christ as a denomination. It also appears that they do not comprehend the basic differences between institutionalism vs. non-institutionalism. One concern that this person brought up is that they felt that the church had no further concern over someone once they have been baptized. The church will only realize that the person is missing once they are no longer filling a pew. It is important to be mindful of babes in Christ who need to be continually groomed into maturity. Just as all believers need to grow (cf. Hebrews 5:11ff). However, the real issue one can take from this individual’s departure is that they did not provide any scriptural defense for their case. It is not in doubt that this person had witnessed a number of wrongs that had taken place, but they do not seem to have addressed the issues in the appropriate manner, if they even addressed them at all.
Before moving on, we need to make some things clear. As in the previous example, the description of the church of Christ lends itself to bring people to the wrong conclusion about the church. For one, the church is people, an assembly of believers in Christ. It has no creed book and only follows what has been written in the Bible. The church is not to involve itself as either a social, welfare, or political institution. Nor is it a civic organization. Christ built His church to save souls, and that is done by following His commandments (cf. Ecclesiastes 12:13; Matthew 28:18ff).
One final example we will explore is from another former preacher, who had grown up as a part of the church of Christ. He had been educated and received degrees in Biblical Studies and Theology. Here is an individual that would appear on the surface to have a great understanding of Biblical authority and the history of the church. Here is an excerpt from his account:
"At the last Church of Christ congregation I served in before leaving the Churches of Christ, the leadership (all male) wanted to increase teen involvement during our worship services. We had a great group of teens that I still miss today, but only two of them were male, and neither of them were all that keen on being the only two teens involved. Churches of Christ (at least the vast majority of Churches of Christ) believe that only men can be involved in the worship and leadership of a congregation. However, I had three teenage girls (none had grown up in Churches of Christ) who approached me to ask if they might lead singing, lead prayers, or lead devotionals. I had to tell them no. My congregation's leadership would never have approved. And worse, I didn't have a single good reason to tell them no. That was one of those watershed moments when you realize you've got to change the path you're on. My job as a minister is to help people find their spiritual gifts and then empower those people to use them. Those three girls should never have been told no. I felt like a failure and a sellout.8"
It is unfortunate that this person was brought up with such a distorted view of the church. He understood the church of Christ as being a denomination that came about from the Restoration Movement, which is wholly inaccurate (feel free to read our article addressing this issue by clicking here). Moreover, there is a lack of understanding of biblical authority of the roles of men and women. It would be an error to allow a woman to lead singing or perform other acts that God has directed to be done in a certain way (cf. 1 Timothy 2:11ff). In the event that a group of women were assembled together for services without any men present, then it would not usurp biblical authority by having a woman perform the acts of worship. Furthermore, women have the ability to teach children that have not reached the age of accountability (i.e. understanding the concept of sin). Other examples of scripturally approved service among women abound. So, this has nothing to do with preventing a woman from doing something, but rather has all to do with following the commandments of God. In this individual’s situation, having an education does not guarantee wisdom and knowledge of Scripture.
There are other examples we could look at, but at the end of the day, each person must decide for themselves to be part of the Lord’s body or not. If anyone makes a decision to leave, then it will not be on our own power to bring them back to the Truth (cf. Hebrews 6:4ff). We can only pray that a fallen brother or sister will come to their senses and be restored (e.g. 2 Corinthians 2:6ff). Just as the Israelites under the Old Law were given a choice (e.g. Joshua 24:15), so too those that live under the New Law are presented with a choice (e.g. Acts 2:38). Unfortunately, Christ tells us that many will not obey and will instead choose the path which leads to their destruction (cf. Matthew 7:13-14). Our hearts break for those that decide to leave the church, and we can only hope that one day, before it is too late, they will come back into the fold of God.
1 https://news.gallup.com/poll/248837/church-membership-down-sharply-past-two-decades.aspx
2 https://www.benjaminlcorey.com/10-reasons-why-people-leave-church/
5 https://factsandtrends.net/2019/06/19/10-reasons-people-are-leaving-your-church/
6 https://www.godsmessageontheweb.com/index.php/2014/06/02/why-i-left-the-church-of-christ/
8 http://www.wonderingdisciple.blogspot.com/2012/05/why-im-not-still-church-of-christ.html
